“Be My Wife But Don’t Ask Me to Cook”: Man Shares Eye-Opening Chat That Made Him Realize He Could Never Marry Her

In a world where love stories often begin with sweet messages and emojis, one man’s candid recount of a jaw-dropping conversation with a potential partner has sent social media into a frenzy, stirring debates around compatibility, red flags, and modern-day relationship expectations. What started as harmless flirtation quickly unraveled into a deal-breaking moment for one man who realized, mid-chat, that the woman he was talking to could never be his wife.

The story was brought to light by Twitter user @ChefTobi_, who responded to a trending prompt posted by @ThaBoyYom asking, “Gee to Gee: Tell us when you realized you can never marry her.” What followed was a screenshot of a WhatsApp exchange that many online users have since dubbed “a masterclass in delusion and audacity.”

In the now-viral conversation, Tobi seemed smitten, sending multiple “Be my wifeeeeeee” texts in a playful, love-struck tone. But what came next was an unexpected series of revelations from the woman on the other end. “Jsyk I can't cook. Clean. And we'll be using a surrogate,” she typed, casually inserting deal-breaking declarations as if they were casual preferences on a dating profile.

The exchange spiraled quickly as she added more “terms and conditions” that shattered the romantic fantasy. “If any of your family members follow me talk rubbish dem go collect. I go raise my leg up o,” she wrote without hesitation. “If I go see your parents make dem no test me with sweeping while I’m there,” she added, making it clear that domestic chores — even symbolic ones during a family visit — were firmly off the table.

The cherry on top? Her concluding note: “If dem wan cook I no Dey enter. I go chop the food, talk thank you, take plate go kitchen.”

For Tobi, the veil lifted. He shared the conversation not to ridicule but to express a moment of clarity — a realization that love, affection, and excitement are not enough when fundamental values and lifestyle choices don’t align. “I was broken,” he captioned the post, succinctly describing the emotional whiplash of going from affection to disillusionment in a matter of texts.

Social media, of course, had plenty to say. The tweet garnered thousands of reactions within hours, with users dissecting every line of the chat. Some applauded the woman’s honesty, saying it’s better to be upfront about one’s lifestyle choices than to pretend. “At least she was real. She laid out her terms and gave him the choice,” one user tweeted. “A lot of people lie and disappoint later.”

But many others saw it differently. “This is not honesty; this is entitlement on steroids,” another user commented. “She wants the perks of being a wife with none of the responsibilities. How does that even work?”

The wider discussion quickly turned to deeper questions about expectations in relationships and marriage. In a society where gender roles are constantly evolving and being challenged, many felt the woman’s approach leaned heavily on an unbalanced dynamic, where she expected effort, commitment, and understanding from her partner without offering the same in return.

“If you say you can’t cook or clean, that’s fine — there are modern relationships where partners split duties or hire help,” a user wrote in a thread. “But saying you’ll raise your leg up if anyone complains, that you’ll use a surrogate, and that you won’t even entertain basic respect for his parents? That’s not a relationship, that’s a dictatorship.”

Some users took the moment to highlight the importance of these early conversations. “This is exactly why we must have real talks early in dating,” tweeted a relationship counselor. “Forget vibes and chemistry. Ask the hard questions. How do you feel about kids? Domestic responsibilities? Family? Because love doesn’t sweep problems away — it magnifies them.”

Amid all the noise, Tobi has remained relatively quiet, letting the screenshots speak for themselves. But his post has now opened the floor for other men and women to share their own stories of “aha” moments — those jarring instances where love met reality and the fantasy came crashing down.

“Mine was when she said she believes in ‘soft life’ only and thinks work is a scam,” one man shared. “She said I should be okay with her being a stay-at-home wife with no kids yet.”

Another recounted, “She said she doesn’t believe in joint finances, but that I should fund her lifestyle and she’ll handle the emotional support.”

In each of these cases, it’s clear that compatibility isn’t just about attraction or shared interests — it’s about vision, values, and lifestyle. And sometimes, as Tobi found out, a few bold text messages are all it takes to bring the truth into focus.

In the ever-changing landscape of modern relationships, where boundaries are being redrawn and roles are being renegotiated, one thing remains clear: clarity is better than confusion. And sometimes, the boldest red flags don’t come through actions — they come through texts at 7:52 in the morning.

So next time someone is screaming “Be my wifeeeee!” in your DMs, just be prepared. You might not be getting a love story. You might be getting a wake-up call.