"Choose Peace, Not Chaos" – Solomon Buchi Urges Nigerian Men to Avoid ‘Career-Obsessed Feminists’ in Marriage

In a bold and polarizing social media statement that has sparked intense conversations across Nigeria and beyond, popular writer and social commentator Solomon Buchi has advised Nigerian men to steer clear of what he describes as “career-obsessed feminist women who have no family values.” The controversial tweet, which dropped like a thunderbolt in the heart of online discourse, called on men to seek women grounded in what he termed “noble womanhood,” emphasizing traits such as respect for marital hierarchy, commitment to family, and domestic responsibility.

Buchi, who is no stranger to stoking debate with his unfiltered opinions on relationships and societal values, cited Ma Ibukun Awosika—one of Nigeria’s most prominent businesswomen—as a shining example of a woman who has balanced success with strong family principles. According to him, Awosika, despite her wealth and status, “respects her husband, recognises him as the head, and doesn’t let her success get in the way of marital hierarchy.” He added that she still performs domestic duties, including cooking, and maintains what he sees as traditional values of womanhood that promote harmony in marriage.

The reaction to his tweet has been a firestorm. Social media exploded with a flood of opinions, ranging from support to outrage. While some applauded Buchi for speaking what they called "hard truths" about the consequences of modern feminism on relationships, others condemned the tweet as misogynistic, reductive, and out of touch with the evolving role of women in society.

“Marry one of these traumatised Twitter feminists who want to prove a woke point in marriage, and you have a lifetime of agony,” Buchi warned in the tweet, drawing a sharp line between women he perceives as nurturing and family-focused, and those he believes are driven by activism, career ambition, and individualism. His statement reflects a growing divide in the Nigerian online space between traditionalists and progressives, especially when it comes to relationships, marriage roles, and gender expectations.

For Buchi and many who agree with him, there’s a growing concern that the rise of feminism in its “radical form” is disrupting the balance of traditional marriage. They argue that the pursuit of independence and career elevation has made many women more self-focused, resistant to compromise, and less willing to participate in the give-and-take that makes marriage work. These critics see the concept of “equality in marriage” as a threat to male leadership and family structure.

However, critics of Buchi's message point out that such a perspective is regressive and fails to acknowledge the complexities of modern relationships. “Why is it so hard to believe that a woman can be successful, career-driven, feminist, and still love her family deeply?” one Twitter user responded. “Feminism doesn’t mean anti-family, it means choice and fairness. The kind of woman Solomon wants is one that serves, not one that partners.”

Others called out the double standard in celebrating male ambition while villainizing it in women. “Men are never told to slow down their ambition for the sake of marriage. Why are women?” another user wrote. Some also took issue with the way Buchi painted an entire group of people—feminists—as “traumatised” and extremist, labeling it harmful and deeply stereotypical.

The reference to Ibukun Awosika also drew mixed reactions. While many hold her in high esteem, critics questioned the romanticization of her personal choices as a universal blueprint for womanhood. “Mrs. Awosika made choices that worked for her family. That doesn’t mean it’s the only right way. Using her as a moral compass to shame others is lazy and unfair,” one comment read.

Interestingly, the uproar highlights a growing anxiety among some Nigerian men about changing gender dynamics. The emergence of educated, outspoken, financially independent women has upended traditional gender roles, challenging the notion of male superiority or sole authority in the home. While many celebrate this shift as progress, others feel threatened and long for the return of more familiar social norms.

Buchi’s tweet appears to be a call to preserve those older dynamics, emphasizing the woman’s place in the home and the man’s leadership role. His views are echoed by a section of Nigerian society that believes too much modernity has created instability in marriage. “All this equality talk is why marriages don’t last anymore,” wrote one user in agreement with Buchi’s post. “Submission is not slavery. It’s structure.”

Still, even among conservative circles, there’s a growing push for nuance. Not everyone who believes in family values opposes feminism. Many argue that the two can coexist—that a woman can be both feminist and family-oriented. “It’s time we moved away from these binary arguments,” said a female pastor in response to the trend. “The issue is not feminism or submission. It’s emotional maturity, communication, and shared values.”

What’s clear is that Solomon Buchi’s tweet has once again put him at the center of Nigeria’s gender war discourse. Whether viewed as a truth-teller defending cultural values or a provocateur resisting progress, he has tapped into a nerve that resonates with many. For some, it’s a reminder of the kind of woman they should look for—one they believe will bring peace and stability to their home. For others, it’s yet another attack on female agency and the right to define womanhood on one’s own terms.

As the dust settles, what remains is a heated but necessary national conversation on the meaning of marriage, the role of gender, and the future of relationships in an ever-evolving society. Whether Nigerian men take Buchi’s advice or not, one thing is certain: the dialogue around love, power, and partnership is far from over.