"If She Cheats, Look in the Mirror" – South African Media Personality Sparks Debate With Bold Take on Infidelity

A heated debate has erupted across social media following controversial remarks by South African media personality Dr Love, also known by his handle @AzoMota, after he shared a blunt perspective on women who cheat in relationships. In a post that quickly gained traction and split opinions, Dr Love declared, “A cheating woman is a reflection of you. Women that are treated well are faithful. If she cheats, work on yourself sir.” The post, while short, struck a deep chord, igniting fiery responses from both men and women who either applauded the sentiment or condemned it outright.

The now-viral comment was shared on X (formerly Twitter), and within hours, had generated tens of thousands of engagements. Supporters hailed Dr Love for championing accountability among men and encouraging introspection, while critics accused him of pushing a dangerous narrative that excuses betrayal and unfairly shifts the blame to the victim. In a world already tense with gender dynamics, power struggles, and unspoken wounds in romantic relationships, his words hit a raw nerve.

For some, Dr Love’s perspective was seen as progressive—a call to action for men to examine how they treat their partners. They argued that cheating doesn’t emerge from a vacuum. “If you constantly ignore her emotional needs, talk down on her, never affirm her, and treat her like a burden, what do you expect?” one user commented. Others chimed in, claiming the sentiment is long overdue and forces many men to look beyond surface-level reactions and into deeper patterns of neglect, emotional abandonment, or even subtle forms of abuse that often go unchecked in relationships.

But on the flip side, many didn’t hesitate to call out the post as tone-deaf and even dangerous. “This kind of thinking removes accountability from the person who made the choice to cheat,” one woman responded. “It’s manipulative to tell someone that their partner’s betrayal is their own fault. No one deserves to be cheated on, no matter how imperfect they are.” Another user wrote, “If a man cheats, it’s his fault. But if a woman cheats, it’s also the man’s fault? Make it make sense.”

The discourse didn’t stop online. Talk shows, radio programs, and podcast hosts across the country picked up the thread, inviting relationship experts, psychologists, and everyday people to weigh in. Some relationship counselors noted that while environment and emotional neglect can influence infidelity, they are never justifications for it. “It’s important to talk about unmet needs in relationships,” one Johannesburg-based therapist shared on a local morning show, “but cheating is a choice. It’s not a solution. No one is ever forced to betray their partner. There are healthier ways to handle dissatisfaction.”

Interestingly, this isn’t the first time Dr Love has made waves with his unfiltered takes on relationships. Known for stirring conversations that blend emotional intelligence with unapologetic realism, he has amassed a loyal following who refer to him as “The Relationship Surgeon.” But even among his fans, this particular statement seemed to hit a nerve that went beyond usual banter.

Many pointed out the inherent double standard in gendered discussions around infidelity. Historically, women have often been expected to endure betrayal silently, while men’s indiscretions are frequently normalized or dismissed with age-old excuses like “men are wired that way.” So, when a man publicly suggests that women’s infidelity is men’s fault, it disrupts a centuries-old narrative—and not everyone is ready for that.

A few feminist commentators noted that Dr Love’s post, while flawed in delivery, opens up important conversations about emotional labor in relationships and the hidden burdens many women carry. “Many women are emotionally starving in relationships. They’re mothers to grown men, therapists to partners who won’t even listen, and cheerleaders for people who never clap for them. Of course, we don’t condone cheating, but we must talk about why some women get pushed to the edge,” one viral thread read.

Still, many users warned that using neglect or emotional mistreatment to explain cheating risks creating a slippery slope. “You can acknowledge someone’s pain without justifying toxic behavior,” a prominent relationship author shared. “We need balance. Both partners must be accountable. One’s wrongdoing doesn’t excuse the other.”

Dr Love has not issued any follow-up comments despite the ongoing uproar. Perhaps intentionally, he has left the statement to speak for itself, fueling more interpretations, think pieces, and heated debates. Meanwhile, screenshots of his tweet continue to circulate on Instagram stories, Facebook groups, and WhatsApp statuses, with the quote now practically a meme—used both sincerely and sarcastically, depending on the reader’s stance.

What this viral moment reveals is more than just a controversial opinion—it’s a reflection of the broader anxieties, insecurities, and frustrations in modern relationships. The tension between love and loyalty, emotional availability and neglect, accountability and excuse-making is as visible as ever. At a time when dating has become more transactional, trust more fragile, and communication more elusive, a single post by a South African personality has reminded the internet of just how layered and volatile the question of cheating really is.

While no consensus has been reached, one thing is clear: relationships today are not just personal—they’re political, emotional, and even philosophical. And as social media continues to blur the lines between private experiences and public commentary, we can expect more voices like Dr Love’s to challenge conventional wisdom, spark uncomfortable truths, and—whether rightly or wrongly—force us all to confront what we really believe about love, loyalty, and the choices we make.