“I’ve Become a Single Mother Because I Foolishly Married a Man Addicted to Life Abroad” — Heartbroken Nigerian Woman Laments

In a deeply emotional outpouring that has struck a chord with thousands of Nigerians online, a heartbroken woman has publicly shared her distressing experience of becoming a “single mother by circumstance” after her husband abandoned her and their children to pursue a permanent life abroad. Her raw confession, which she posted on social media, has ignited widespread discussion about the growing number of Nigerian families being torn apart by the so-called “Japa” wave — the increasing desire to relocate abroad for better opportunities.

“I have turned to a single mother not because my husband is dead,” the woman began in her viral post, “but because I foolishly married a man who has sworn to spend the rest of his life abroad, while I raise his children alone in Nigeria.” Her words were laced with pain, disappointment, and a sense of betrayal that only those walking in similar shoes can truly understand. The woman, whose identity remains undisclosed for privacy reasons, narrated how her marriage began with dreams and promises but quickly spiraled into an emotional desert after her husband traveled to Europe, chasing greener pastures and leaving her behind with two young children.

According to her, the decision for him to travel was mutual at the beginning. She said they both agreed he would relocate temporarily to stabilize financially, secure a better life, and eventually move the family over once he was settled. But that plan, she says bitterly, was nothing but a façade. “It’s been seven years. No visa, no progress, no solid plan. Just excuses, silence, and emotional abandonment. My children don’t even recognize his voice anymore,” she said.

The woman narrated how she has had to shoulder the entire burden of parenting alone — emotionally, physically, and financially. From school fees and hospital visits to moral instruction and discipline, she’s played both mother and father without rest. “I send pictures of their school events, birthdays, milestones, and I get nothing but cold replies like ‘Nice’ or ‘Well done’. It breaks my heart,” she wrote. “He posts pictures enjoying his life abroad, dining in restaurants, smiling with friends, while I cry myself to sleep every night.”

Her story is, unfortunately, not isolated. Many Nigerian women — and even some men — have echoed similar experiences in response to her post. The phenomenon of spouses being left behind while their partners relocate abroad is becoming more common, and the toll it takes on families is devastating. The woman admitted that what hurts the most is not just the loneliness or the financial struggle, but the betrayal of the very foundation of marriage — partnership.

“I never thought I would raise my children without their father beside them. I never imagined having to explain his absence over and over again,” she said. “It’s like he chose a new life and forgot we ever existed. It’s not like he sends money regularly or checks up on the kids often. I do everything alone. I bathe them when they’re sick, I help them with homework, I teach them about life, I cry when they ask where daddy is. And the worst part is, I still have to pretend he’s a good man in front of them.”

The emotional strain, she admits, has affected her mental health. She described suffering from anxiety, sleepless nights, and even depression as a result of feeling abandoned, unloved, and overstretched. At some point, she said she considered divorce but feared the stigma and impact it would have on her children. “It’s not just about signing papers. It’s about explaining to my son that the man he calls ‘Daddy’ no longer wants to be part of his life. It’s about telling my daughter that this is not how love is supposed to feel.”

Her post ended with a haunting warning to other women: “Please, think deeply before you marry a man who is obsessed with going abroad. Don’t let love blind you into a life of loneliness. I wish I had asked harder questions. I wish I had waited longer. I wish I had not been so desperate to marry. Now, I am both mother and father, and I cry in silence every night.”

The post quickly went viral across Nigerian social media platforms, with thousands commenting and sharing their own stories or offering advice and comfort. Many blamed the man for being irresponsible, calling his actions selfish and cowardly. Others urged the woman to take legal steps to protect herself and her children, especially if he is not providing for them.

Some commenters, however, pointed fingers at the culture that glorifies “Japa” without discussing the emotional cost. “We keep praising people who travel abroad without asking what they left behind. A man leaves a whole family and is treated like a hero simply because he lives in the UK or Canada. But no one sees the broken homes, the crying wives, the confused children,” one person wrote.

Mental health experts also weighed in, emphasizing the long-term psychological impact on both parents and children in such situations. According to family therapist Grace Onah, children raised without one parent are at greater risk of emotional instability, behavioral issues, and trust problems in adulthood. “We must normalize putting family first, even in the face of economic hardship,” she said.

The incident has sparked a larger conversation about marriage, commitment, and the real cost of the migration dream. It has also highlighted the urgent need for better support systems for women who find themselves in such circumstances — women who are technically married but living like widows, bearing the load of two people alone, while society offers little empathy.

The woman, for now, remains in Nigeria, doing her best to keep her family afloat, one day at a time. She says she has no idea when — or if — her husband will ever return, but she has stopped hoping. “I no longer beg for love or attention. I just focus on my kids. They are the only good thing that came out of this marriage,” she concluded.

Her story continues to resonate with thousands of Nigerians, especially women, who see in her pain a reflection of their own lives. In a country where migration is often hailed as the ultimate escape from economic hardship, her story serves as a sobering reminder that not all that glitters is gold — and that sometimes, the cost of chasing foreign dreams is paid in broken homes and silent tears.